A chain reaction was set off earlier today when CNN reported that Tuesday’s White House lockdown was due to the sighting of a “slow-moving blob” crossing the sky.
Learning of the report, Fox News broke into regular programming to announce that Donald Trump apparently had gained the ability to fly.
Pat Robertson and the Christian Broadcasting Network immediately followed with a news release proclaiming that God had given this ability to Trump in thanks for “Making America Great Again.”
Hard on the heels of that release, Franklin Graham, Jerry Falwell, Jr., Robert Jeffrees and Paula White said in a joint statement that the flight proved again that Trump was “The Chosen One.”
They also noted that Barack Obama had flown only with the assistance of airplane.
Trump himself added a final note by tweeting that while it was true God had given him the gift in thanks, it was also true that He had given it in worship.
The tweet also noted that “every one of the heavenly host” agreed that Trump was the greatest leader of all time.
Meanwhile, speaking off the record, national security officials said that the mysterious “blob” was likely a large flock of birds or a drone.